Abi’s story  

“Both my parents became Christians as adults, and they loved Asian culture. They had a heart to serve God in Asia, so they lived in Singapore for a few years and then Macau. That’s where I was born but we came back to Australia when I was two. Then we moved to New Zealand for six years. There were eight of us kids, by then, and mum was home schooling all of us.  

When I was 11, we moved to Vanuatu. Dad could do things with his hands, so we went to help build a base for a mission organisation. Later, he helped build a road to the Bible college. We were all living in a little house in the bush, and we were part of the local church. My siblings and I would help run the Bible club at the local school. The health situation was quite bad and there was only one nurse at the clinic. I was only 12, but I was interested in it. I started to help the nurse and I ended up running a little wound clinic at the Bible club. Lots of kids were walking around with tropical ulcers and they’d get infected. I’d always loved babies. We also learnt the local language Bislama. I think it was stressful for mum and dad, but it was a pretty cool time for us. 

But then, when I was 14, we moved back to Australia with only three weeks’ notice. It was really traumatic. I felt uprooted and had really bad culture shock. We were living with our grandparents, and it was winter. We had no warm clothes and dad didn’t have a job. But during that time, we learnt to pretend everything was okay. I think I’ve been doing that ever since. I’ve spent years learning to conform to the new culture and slot in. I’ve always been the good girl… doing the things other people expect of me and learning to look the part.  

But you can’t do that forever. I started studying nursing and I moved out of home. I went to a new church, and it was like a breath of fresh air. There was so much compassion. At previous churches, it had felt like people were pretending, or they were fierce about judgement. But at the new church, everybody talked about how good God was… how much he loved us. They weren’t pretending or trying to be perfect. They were real. The pastor would get up and cry as he spoke about Jesus. He was such a soft man.  

It really changed me. Before that I’d felt fearful. We always heard about sin and repentance, and I’d worry I wasn’t saved, even though I’d prayed the sinners’ prayer. But hearing the assurance of God’s love was transformative. Jesus died for us! I had to unravel a lot of things. I finished nursing, studied postgrad and moved to a rural area where there was a lot of need. It’s been hard, but it’s been the best couple of years – growing and stretching me in my faith. I’m part of a great church.  

Looking back, God has been there, in every move and the messiness. None of this is outside his control. He is always bringing good… and one day he will put everything right, all the brokenness of the world. It’s the only thing that helps me. I always think of the image of the little girl on the underside of the weaving. All she can see is messy threads. But the weaving on the other side is beautiful, full of gold threads… so, I trust that God is at work, in the middle of it, all the questioning and the wrestling.  

My favourite Bible verse is from Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” That’s what I hold on to.”   

Paul’s story is part of the Faith Stories series, compiled by Naomi Reed.  

Visit Koorong to purchase Naomi’s Faith Stories book, Every Moment, Everywhere: https://koorong.com/everymoment