How to cope with a Christmas Grinch

Friday 21 December 2012

As the wassailing gets into full swing, spare a thought for the Christmas Grinches living among us. They show up in the most unexpected places. Come Christmas morning, you could be sitting next to one in your church. Or listening as they play Christmas carols as part of the band. In fact, it’s surprising how many times you can come across a Christian musician hiding their inner Grinch, roped mercilessly into carols events to play the very songs that make them cringe.

Sydneysider, Adam Jones is one of them. He’s just turned 29. He’s an engineer by day, musician and songwriter by night. He’s not a theologian. But he’s been a Christian for a while. And he’s a friend of mine, so I thought perhaps it’s time I considered what he has to say about what I consider to be “the most wonderful time of the year.”

Adam Jones and his wife, Nai know they have different views on celebrating Christmas.

While openly declaring himself a Grinch-like figure during the festive season, Adam admits there are a few disclaimers to that label:

  1. He doesn’t have kids (and has been assured that children will make him “rediscover Christmas joy”);
  2. He’s not a naturally nostalgic person;
  3. Cheesy songs make him cringe, Christmas or not; and
  4. He’s not normally into decorating.

This combination, says Adam, may be making him biased against celebrating ‘days’ or traditions in general.  But for him, Christmas is the hardest to bear.

For someone with twinkle dust in her eyes each Christmas, counting the days until a Christmas tree in the living room is once again acceptable and spending hours perfecting gingerbread recipes, Grinch-y-ness is not something this writer– a self-confessed Christmas junkie– is familiar with. Especially since, over and above all the decorations, is the desire to remember the glory of God that should (whether it does or not) permeate the season is still Good News – a happy message.

So, can there be such a thing as a Christian Grinch? And if so, do they only exist to rain on the Christmas fun parade, or might they actually have something to offer the rest of us jingle bell-toting Christians?

For Adam, Christmas is a convicting time. “We’re all a little selfish – myself very much included. But to me this selfishness can look worse at Christmas time, especially in light of what we celebrate. It wasn’t really so many years back that the God of the universe actually did shrink down in to the ugly mess we made here, in order to serve and rescue us.

“How does it look if I am honouring that by trying to capture as much comfort and pleasure for myself as I possibly can? I find it’s a time of year when it’s easy to get distracted glorify myself by accident.”

Greater than the consumerism bemoaned by many at this time of year, Adam says it’s Christmas nostalgia he believes is most pervasive.

“I do worry that for many of us, a kind of nostalgia hangs over from years past, when Christmas was genuinely so much more thrilling. Perhaps there’s a yearning to find some of that child-like thrill again. Or to recapture the taste of simpler or more genuinely happy times before life got messier with age?”

Feeling down yet? Here’s the bullet (that doesn’t get any easier to take no matter how many times you hear it): “What if some of us are trying to orchestrate the entire Christmas season to meet annual expectations, in order to generate for ourselves the most pleasure or familiar comfort? We could say it’s for the sake of the kids, or family, or mankind, or the ‘spirit of the season’. But it bothers me to think that we’re really just seeking the warm and fuzzy feelings we think we deserve at this time of year.”

Ouch. That one hurt. Not only am I seeking warm and fuzzy feelings, I’d willingly light a fire to roast chestnuts and hang stockings on the hearth in 35 degree heat if I had access to a fireplace.

So, Grinches worry that the real joy and true meaning has been so lost that the ‘tradition’ of Christmas has no purpose, and they may have a point.  Maybe it’s too easy for us Christmas junkies to wave off his (and others) comments as purely Grinch-like; an effort to ruin the ‘spirit’ we throw around that gives us license to eat too much and wear tinkle-y, spangle-y earrings. Still, they also miss opportunities to see and appreciate God’s glory in this time of year. His love, His mercy. That can be shown through people who embrace the ‘Christmas spirit’.

Adam says this is something he’s been learning in recent years, after crossing the divide and marrying a Christmas junkie: “I can see how my wife deals differently with Christmas traditions. She feels it’s better to embrace the celebration despite the imperfections. Where I want to resist all distractions, it’s like she wants to redeem them. And, you know, I can see there might be something in that.”

Does this mean that Grinches and junkies (and if you’ve got mistletoe, paint your nails a Christmas-sy colour, look forward to Christmas pudding, or even decorate a Christmas tree, you pretty much fall into this category), could get along in December?

“In love, I think so,” says Adam. “I compromised on a wreath on the door, for example. It has bells and I cringe every time I come inside, but my wife loves it so much that it’s worth it. And celebrations with deeper purpose I actually can get behind. We have another decoration that says ‘Noel’, and I don’t mind it because the word has roots in referring to the ‘day of birth’.”

So while both camps can get caught up in the hype in different ways, Grinches and junkies may have more in common than we assume.  And in recognising the deficiencies in each Christmas viewpoint, we come to the clincher: we’re all sinful, and in need of a Saviour. Thank God we were sent one.

Since Christmas Grinches are still a minority, we thought it only fair to give you a few practical tips on how to deal with a Grinch this Christmas (kindly approved and contributed, all in good humour, by Adam on behalf of Grinches everywhere):

  • Don’t take us personally!  Grinches don’t hate you, or probably even Christmas. They just may not like your flashing jewellery.
  • Expect Grinches to gracefully ignore your snowmen, Santa, reindeer (and especially any “Aussie interpretations” thereof). If you expect it, it’ll bother you less and less.
  • Please let Grinches sit out of some of the group photos, you don’t want a distressed face in there anyway.
  • Be kind to the musicians playing your Christmas carols. If there’s a Christian Grinch among them (and there probably is), they’re doing it out of love for you and a hope that you’re thinking more of Jesus than of candy canes.